Success Mantra

When do we consider ourselves successful? When we get all the comforts of life? Or when we get all that the heart desired ..... the worldly things? Or when we earn more than what our neighbours or relatives do?
......The question is that is no measure for success. It is like an a well, the more you pour in, the more it absorbs. It is never filled. When then should we realize to what extent can we fill the hearts desires and makes our minds experience the pleasures of success... no answer?

Whatever we do, we want a return. We are all traders. We are traders in life, we are traders in virtue, we are traders in religion. And alas! we are also traders in love.

If you come to trade, if it is a question of give-and-take, if it is a question of buy-and-sell, abide by the laws of buying and selling. There is a bad time and there is a good time; there is a rise and a fall in prices: always expect the blow to come...We get caught.

How? Not by what we give, but by what we expect. We get misery in return for our love; not from the fact that we love, but from the fact that we want love in return. There is no misery where there is no want. Desire is the father of all misery. Desires are bound by the laws of success and failure.
Learn then to give away what you can, if not all. Whatever, that makes you happy. Don't expect in return, but one day the kind gestures will come back to you in the form of peace and extreme joy... trust me. 

The great secret of true success, of true happiness, then, is this: the man who asks for no return, the perfectly unselfish man, is the most successful.

Art of Commitment

What is the secret behind a successful marriage?
For success of anything one must learn the art of commitment and not complain. Marriage works when there is commitment but most marriages which fail, do so as they get blown apart by complaints. Everyone has comfort and discomfort zones. Learn initially to avoid the discomfort zone and log on to the comfort zone. Don’t let expectations control your lives but learn to give in a relationship more than demand or beg from a relationship. Commitment in taking care of little things makes relationships stronger and work enjoyable. It brings happiness and satisfaction in the long way. 

 Don’t treat anything as a problem but an issue to handle. Learn to accept things and improve on things. Learn the art of empowering and beautifying the set up. Treat it as fun and not as a social obligation but a social challenge. Don’t look only at equal rights but also at duties to be fulfilled.

What should one avoid to build a successful marriage?
One has to be very aware of the fact that there will be differences in a relationship… it is indeed natural. Don’t treat that as conflict. The moment you treat it as conflict, there is pain. Then you hold on to this pain and go on brooding over it. Then it increases and you start maintaining an internal account of  hurt. This will slowly lead to settling scores. Be aware of this pattern.

A wife gets upset when her husband listens to his mother and ignores her feelings. The mother-in-law gets upset when her son listens to the wife and ignores her feelings. How can this  be handled ?
Oone should understand, “hurt or upset whether you justify it or not is self damaging”. When one is upset psychologically, a hurt body is created. When the “hurt body” is created one looks from the hurt and thus one’s subjective projection starts operating. All this messes the way one looks at a situation.

With this understanding and alertness respective people should share more with their close ones. Please look at their sharing as a part of them releasing their tensions. One should have an outlet to release one’s tension, right or wrong but one has to empty it out. When hurt center is created it messes up and when you source yourself from wisdom, it clears up.

Youngsters tend to think there are more challenges to marriage than good times. There is very little tolerance or adjustment. How can parents help?
Parents should understand that each one, especially young people, have two needs… security need and insecurity need. There is a need for insecurity also… challenges, adventure, taking risk and that is a need which one has to wisely address. As one grows old one’s need is more leaning towards security and being settled, is it not? Look at life deeply and you will find these things happening in us. But most of us don’t look at life deeply since one is lost in one’s wants and don’t take time to see the ground of being in which one’s life operates.

Wisely handling them and seeing that there is less stress but a blend of challenge and peace makes marriage more interesting. A certain amount of excitement youngsters do need but it should be balanced with peace. Harmonising these opposites is a wise act.

More than changing their mind set let parents balance their inner energies. Then one’s being speaks louder than words.

Wish my readers a bright future ahead ! Happy journey ..

Life and Death

How easy can it be for some people to give up on good things and embrace death as a final solution..... the girl opposite our building committed suicide, real reason not known. Had she given one moment of thought of the pain her mother had taken to bring her into this world, she would be safe and alive.
Life is God's gift. To turn that gift into a blessing is what man ought to do; through good thoughts and wise actions. Good things are always difficult to achieve, a time consuming process. Probably, that is the reason why many jump into false traps of success which leads them nowhere. Life is meant to fight and live. This needs courage unlike what people say, it takes courage to end one's life.
Can't say beyond as time to leave for home.... 

Varanasi City of Gods

Varanasi or Banaras or Kashi is the holiest and the dirtiest city in the world! 

The Kashi Vishwanath temple is located in the heart of the cultural capital of India, Varanasi. Standing on the western bank of river Ganges of UP, is a center of faith for millions of Hindus. According to the beliefs of many hindus, a glimpse of the Jyotirlinga of Lord Shiva in the temple is a soul-cleansing experience that transforms life and puts it on the path of knowledge and Bhakti (devotion). A visit to the temple and a bath in the river Ganges is one of many methods believed to lead one on a path to moksha (liberation). Thus, people from all over the nation, try to visit the place at least once in their lifetime. It is here that a large number of India’s saints come to make their home and to meditate and seek solace.

We (Me and relatives - 22 members in all) got to visit this place which is a living picture of the timeless cultural traditions and highest spiritual values.

 As we got out from the crowded railway station, the messy city ...... though holy brought goose bumps on my body.  I witnessed over crowded roads and narrow by-lanes with equal number of cycle rickshaws, and many local folks either buying pan, chewing or spitting. The roads became narrower and narrower as we got into the older part of the city. There is barely room for an auto, which has to maneuver a lot to avoid vehicles coming in the opposite direction. Many a times I thought my rickshaw wala would bump into someone for sure but proved me wrong.

Day one, we visited the temple late in the evening. . The tough security protocols at the temple entrance have not been even close to affect the spirit of devotees to visit their Lord. Within the in the same premises co-existis a Mosque guarded by huge walls and wired fencing.  I managed to get two seconds just to catch a glimpse of the idol and was pushed out from there by the security in charge of the temple. That’s it, this marks the end of my visit to the temple, where a pujari asked for donation for his overly kind gesture outside the temple gate.  I gave him Rs 40, but he wanted more, some Rs 500 or something. I confronted a grumpy face of the pujari when I turned and started walking away silently. 

Day two, we decided to hire a boat to the ghat with a guide.  We heard by the locals that the city is best seen from a boat ride in the river Ganges. According to him, only the west bank is holy because of the great masters and yogis who lived, meditated, built ashrams, temples there. As we cruised along the west bank of the river, you can see life flow by, from people taking the holy dip in the Ganges (believed to remit their sins, no matter how polluted it is), to dead bodies being cremated and 30 large sewers continuously discharging into the river, a potpourri of different rituals, customs and beliefs.

 We saw some of the 62 famous ghats of Varanasi like Dashashwamedh (near Lord Kasi Vishwanath temple. Lord Brahma sacrificed 10 horses in a yagna, hence the name), Manikarnika (Goddess Parvati hid her ear rings here), Harischandra (cremation ghat where King Harschandra worked as a slave), Manmandir, Lalit, Tulsi(Tulsidas wrote Ramcharithramanas here). Each ghat has its own story to tell. The boat man showed us the ghats, temples and ashrams like Bindu Madhav temple, Trilingaswamy ashram, Kashi Vishwanath temple, Kashi Visalakshi temple, Goddess Annapoorna temple, Ganga aarti at Dasheshwamedh ghat. The boatman stopped in Dashashwamedh ghat to give a lecture in his Banarasi English about the stories of the various ghats and the mythological stories associated with some of the ghats, so its easy to miss out on the finer details, but this is some of it.

Ride through the Varanasi Ghats

Prayag ghat- a replica of the pilgrim place known in ancient times as Prayag, now called Allahabad.

 Munshi Ghat- named in the memory of Sridhar Narayan Munshi, the finance minister of Nagpur.

Manikarnika Ghat- used for cremating the dead

 Lalita Ghat- a replica of the famous Pasupatisvara (Pashupatinath) at Kathmandu.

At dawn, crowds increased with people thronging the place on the ghats and the boats for the most awaiting Ganga pooja to be commenced at 7:00 pm. After having got to see all the ghats, the boatman halted by the banks for us to watch the eagerly awaiting spectacle. Little lamps floating in the waters in small bowl made of dried leaves. It’s a belief that if one wishes in heart, and leave the lighted lamps in the waters, they come true.… excuse me… not my cup of tea. But left one of it just to see it floating and dashing against the boat but yet making its way with the flow.  The ringing of bells, the singing of hyms in praise of Goddess Parvati and Ganga the pooja filled the ambience with devotion in the millions of hearts present there. Glittering lights, the mantras of pujaris clad in orange clothes, the smoke from dhoop sticks vaporizing into the air was a spectacular treat to the eyes. Watch out ……….

  

By now, my mind set has changed to accept the chaos as the spirituality of the city gets into me finding myself to become a Banaras resident... thankfully partially. 

 Day three planned for sitting on the banks with a samosa and enjoy my chai, with a magnificent view of the Ganges. One can have a choice of sitting on a busy ghat like Dasashwamedh to see life and death go by. Or else, you can sit in solitude in a not so popular ghat like Assi or Shivala, writing a poem or sketching scenes. I selected the quiet steps on the ghat of Ma Anadamayi ashram in Shivala. I watch the swift flowing Mother Ganges with its small appearing and disappearing whirl polls. Some clothing, flowers, even dead cattle float by. One bundle of clothes with something heavy inside gets stuck beside the halted old wooden boats. At the break of dusk, a group of idlers on the steps of the ghats are seen playing seriously some game with checks drawn in the ground, oblivious of the great river next to them. They are part of Ganges and Ganges is a part of them. They co-exist without even noticing each other. Life is taken as it is of now, without a care for the next moment. Life and Death becoming meaningless! Mother Ganges washes away all sufferings/sins of the world and purifies all souls! 

My next visit was to Sarnath, 20 kms from Banaras, where Lord Buddha gave his first sermon. It is serene, peaceful place with good vibrations of the great Master. There is a Japanese temple and a museum. In a couple of days, I got used to the city as I visited the missed out sights such as Durga temple, Hanuman temple, Banaras Hindu University (BHU), Birla Mandir etc. 

The more interesting part of this short visit was the hand-churned lassi. Situated in a narrow lanes, the lassi wallas have the shop right below his old-style houses. They  served lassi in small earthern pots, used only once, and it was delicious. Also had chai and snacks in roadside stalls. Good enough! 

Trip to Benaras wouldn’t be complete if you haven’t shopped the famous Benaras silk sarees. I got 7 sarees out of which 3 to be gifted to my s-i-l’s.

Some of the interesting things as told by locals about the place is:

 1. Cows and bulls do not attack people.
2. House lizard does not make noise.
3. Brahminy kites (Garuda) do not fly over the city.
4. Flowers of the city do not have fragrance.
5. Burning bodies do not emanate bad odour. 

  They also say that people who visit Kashi never come back. It simply means that once you visit Kashi, you are changed forever. You are not the same after the visit ...carrying a doubt...mmmm . Banaras is a nice place to photograph, with its diverse and vibrant landscape and culture. From ancient temples, saints and ghats, to Sarnath (where Lord Buddha gave his first sermon) and an excavation site from the days of the Mughal Emperor Ashoka, to its lively street life, Banaras has it all for you to capture through your lens and your soul.

  

 Jai Kaashi Vishwanathji ki !!!

Distance

Staggering steps... feeble walks..... the u turn ....  the realization !!!
 A reality, an acceptance... or understanding facts... the rights and wrongs; blended into one whole being or kind of inheritance, the qualities of righteousness harnessed of what we or rather what I am or what he has given me. Of course, it's about my dad, holding whose fingers I have walked through all these years, to this day, where he wanted to see me.
 Happy to know that he actually always wanted to see me born as a son and not  a daughter; hardly ever knowing, or rather astonished to see that he had been failing in understanding me; and proving him wrong that daughters are better than sons, why the gender bias. Why the differentiation?
Simultaneously, overwhelmed to know that seeds of goodness that he had sown years ago had borne fruit. Happy to know that we had always been missing him... in good times and bad.... more often than ever after the demise of my mother.
 Prayers answered and wishes fulfilled, though not all, while some dreams shattered at the hands of fate, not a word spoken against nor a revenge taken. Still trying to figure out the secrets, unfold the mysteries and understand God's word. To set right the wrong ? or Forgive the wrong and move on as if no one existed in his world, feeling lonely or leaving lonely, the world that he had created... ahahhh !!!
 
Together wishing had mom been with us; the unspoken lonely words struggling to break free; at the same time trying to hide emotions. Words of patience only spoken to give courage to his heart and mind promising to live till the wrong will be corrected; on a journey to peace and eternity.

 Love you Dad
 

The Chronicles of Higher Education

As Review by: Hartmann, Werner

The possibilities created by information and communication technologies, and in particular by the Internet and the Web, have often been hailed as revolutionary with regards to education. In May 2004, Steve Jones, a professor of communication at the University of Illinois at Chicago, conducted a survey among more than 2300 professors in the US on the impact of the Internet and the Web on education.

Three major findings of the survey are summarized as follows: “When asked whether the Internet has changed the quality of student work, 42% of professors in a recent survey said they had seen a decline, while only 22% said they had seen improvement. But a majority of 67% of the respondents said the Internet had improved their communication with students.” Plagiarism was cited as a major problem. Almost half of the respondents in the survey observe an increasing “Google and Copy” way of working by their students. Only about a quarter of the respondents has no qualms with unauthorized copying of source materials. Two thirds systematically use tools to check for plagiarism.

Many respondents also point out changes in the writing abilities of their students. They believe that the use of software such as spell checkers and automated translation services has a negative impact on the quality of writing. For example, expressions which are used only rarely are often rejected by such tools, and students replace them with simpler, more common expressions which are accepted by the tools. As a result, the students’ texts are less rich in expression and become less individual.
More than 80% of the respondents say they use the Internet a resource of information for their daily business and cannot imagine education which does not include the use of the Internet. About 40% say they are online 20 hours or more per week. However, as the survey was done online, these numbers may be skewed in favor of power-user professors.
Almost all respondents use email for communication with their students, which makes email the most used Internet service, by a large margin, among the respondents. On the negative side, respondents noted students’ expectation that they be online 24h on 7 days.
Only 16% of the respondents have experience with online courses, and half of those note that the time for preparation for such courses is much higher than for more traditional forms of education such as lectures.
The study ends by noting that at institutions of higher education, there is still much uncertainty about the efficient and effective use of information and communication technologies for education. The authors recommend more further education for professors which focuses less on the use of the technologies in general, but rather more on the use for teaching particular subjects.

People may think it is a luxury and times are hard, but the times are changing and the next generation need to know how to use the latest technology.

Fun with Kalligrafi

Callos- Beautiful graphos- Writing.



The discovery to add beauty to alphabets has given calligraphy the place it deservs. Anything beautiful is appealing to the eye and an inspiration to the soul. If you have a flare for writing and want to present in a creative way, then all you need is a pen and a paper. It is an art which does not require expenditure nor space. Anyone from a young lad to an old person can develop this art, irrespective of whether he/she is an artist.

This art can be out of your interest to keep you busy in your leisure time. But, calligraphy can also be a source of income who want to showcase their creative talents and earn at the same time. Those who want to earn those extra bucks can look ahead into this art. But one would wonder how one can earn through this fanciful writing. Why not ! Here are a list of things where calligraphy can be put to use- Greetings for all occasions, invitations, certificates, posters, Business cards, awards, poems, and many other things like mugs, T-shirts etc.


  Paying attention to the strokes and holding the pen is what counts, while one sits down to create beautiful inspirational writing. There are two levels - the basic level is for beginners who can master the upper and lower case alphabets and move to 3-5 letter words. As you advance, you will find yourself enjoying the journey to present beautiful quotes and poems with this creative partner. Trying your own way out with different styles would be a wonderful research. Although there are many websites, to guide you through the process, practice and patience is what is really needed!



So what are you waiting for, explore the beautiful way of presenting your ideas, the next time you send a greeting or a quote to someone you love ! Enjoy and propagate the art.