Success Mantra

When do we consider ourselves successful? When we get all the comforts of life? Or when we get all that the heart desired ..... the worldly things? Or when we earn more than what our neighbours or relatives do?
......The question is that is no measure for success. It is like an a well, the more you pour in, the more it absorbs. It is never filled. When then should we realize to what extent can we fill the hearts desires and makes our minds experience the pleasures of success... no answer?

Whatever we do, we want a return. We are all traders. We are traders in life, we are traders in virtue, we are traders in religion. And alas! we are also traders in love.

If you come to trade, if it is a question of give-and-take, if it is a question of buy-and-sell, abide by the laws of buying and selling. There is a bad time and there is a good time; there is a rise and a fall in prices: always expect the blow to come...We get caught.

How? Not by what we give, but by what we expect. We get misery in return for our love; not from the fact that we love, but from the fact that we want love in return. There is no misery where there is no want. Desire is the father of all misery. Desires are bound by the laws of success and failure.
Learn then to give away what you can, if not all. Whatever, that makes you happy. Don't expect in return, but one day the kind gestures will come back to you in the form of peace and extreme joy... trust me. 

The great secret of true success, of true happiness, then, is this: the man who asks for no return, the perfectly unselfish man, is the most successful.

Art of Commitment

What is the secret behind a successful marriage?
For success of anything one must learn the art of commitment and not complain. Marriage works when there is commitment but most marriages which fail, do so as they get blown apart by complaints. Everyone has comfort and discomfort zones. Learn initially to avoid the discomfort zone and log on to the comfort zone. Don’t let expectations control your lives but learn to give in a relationship more than demand or beg from a relationship. Commitment in taking care of little things makes relationships stronger and work enjoyable. It brings happiness and satisfaction in the long way. 

 Don’t treat anything as a problem but an issue to handle. Learn to accept things and improve on things. Learn the art of empowering and beautifying the set up. Treat it as fun and not as a social obligation but a social challenge. Don’t look only at equal rights but also at duties to be fulfilled.

What should one avoid to build a successful marriage?
One has to be very aware of the fact that there will be differences in a relationship… it is indeed natural. Don’t treat that as conflict. The moment you treat it as conflict, there is pain. Then you hold on to this pain and go on brooding over it. Then it increases and you start maintaining an internal account of  hurt. This will slowly lead to settling scores. Be aware of this pattern.

A wife gets upset when her husband listens to his mother and ignores her feelings. The mother-in-law gets upset when her son listens to the wife and ignores her feelings. How can this  be handled ?
Oone should understand, “hurt or upset whether you justify it or not is self damaging”. When one is upset psychologically, a hurt body is created. When the “hurt body” is created one looks from the hurt and thus one’s subjective projection starts operating. All this messes the way one looks at a situation.

With this understanding and alertness respective people should share more with their close ones. Please look at their sharing as a part of them releasing their tensions. One should have an outlet to release one’s tension, right or wrong but one has to empty it out. When hurt center is created it messes up and when you source yourself from wisdom, it clears up.

Youngsters tend to think there are more challenges to marriage than good times. There is very little tolerance or adjustment. How can parents help?
Parents should understand that each one, especially young people, have two needs… security need and insecurity need. There is a need for insecurity also… challenges, adventure, taking risk and that is a need which one has to wisely address. As one grows old one’s need is more leaning towards security and being settled, is it not? Look at life deeply and you will find these things happening in us. But most of us don’t look at life deeply since one is lost in one’s wants and don’t take time to see the ground of being in which one’s life operates.

Wisely handling them and seeing that there is less stress but a blend of challenge and peace makes marriage more interesting. A certain amount of excitement youngsters do need but it should be balanced with peace. Harmonising these opposites is a wise act.

More than changing their mind set let parents balance their inner energies. Then one’s being speaks louder than words.

Wish my readers a bright future ahead ! Happy journey ..

Life and Death

How easy can it be for some people to give up on good things and embrace death as a final solution..... the girl opposite our building committed suicide, real reason not known. Had she given one moment of thought of the pain her mother had taken to bring her into this world, she would be safe and alive.
Life is God's gift. To turn that gift into a blessing is what man ought to do; through good thoughts and wise actions. Good things are always difficult to achieve, a time consuming process. Probably, that is the reason why many jump into false traps of success which leads them nowhere. Life is meant to fight and live. This needs courage unlike what people say, it takes courage to end one's life.
Can't say beyond as time to leave for home.... 

Varanasi City of Gods

Varanasi or Banaras or Kashi is the holiest and the dirtiest city in the world! 

The Kashi Vishwanath temple is located in the heart of the cultural capital of India, Varanasi. Standing on the western bank of river Ganges of UP, is a center of faith for millions of Hindus. According to the beliefs of many hindus, a glimpse of the Jyotirlinga of Lord Shiva in the temple is a soul-cleansing experience that transforms life and puts it on the path of knowledge and Bhakti (devotion). A visit to the temple and a bath in the river Ganges is one of many methods believed to lead one on a path to moksha (liberation). Thus, people from all over the nation, try to visit the place at least once in their lifetime. It is here that a large number of India’s saints come to make their home and to meditate and seek solace.

We (Me and relatives - 22 members in all) got to visit this place which is a living picture of the timeless cultural traditions and highest spiritual values.

 As we got out from the crowded railway station, the messy city ...... though holy brought goose bumps on my body.  I witnessed over crowded roads and narrow by-lanes with equal number of cycle rickshaws, and many local folks either buying pan, chewing or spitting. The roads became narrower and narrower as we got into the older part of the city. There is barely room for an auto, which has to maneuver a lot to avoid vehicles coming in the opposite direction. Many a times I thought my rickshaw wala would bump into someone for sure but proved me wrong.

Day one, we visited the temple late in the evening. . The tough security protocols at the temple entrance have not been even close to affect the spirit of devotees to visit their Lord. Within the in the same premises co-existis a Mosque guarded by huge walls and wired fencing.  I managed to get two seconds just to catch a glimpse of the idol and was pushed out from there by the security in charge of the temple. That’s it, this marks the end of my visit to the temple, where a pujari asked for donation for his overly kind gesture outside the temple gate.  I gave him Rs 40, but he wanted more, some Rs 500 or something. I confronted a grumpy face of the pujari when I turned and started walking away silently. 

Day two, we decided to hire a boat to the ghat with a guide.  We heard by the locals that the city is best seen from a boat ride in the river Ganges. According to him, only the west bank is holy because of the great masters and yogis who lived, meditated, built ashrams, temples there. As we cruised along the west bank of the river, you can see life flow by, from people taking the holy dip in the Ganges (believed to remit their sins, no matter how polluted it is), to dead bodies being cremated and 30 large sewers continuously discharging into the river, a potpourri of different rituals, customs and beliefs.

 We saw some of the 62 famous ghats of Varanasi like Dashashwamedh (near Lord Kasi Vishwanath temple. Lord Brahma sacrificed 10 horses in a yagna, hence the name), Manikarnika (Goddess Parvati hid her ear rings here), Harischandra (cremation ghat where King Harschandra worked as a slave), Manmandir, Lalit, Tulsi(Tulsidas wrote Ramcharithramanas here). Each ghat has its own story to tell. The boat man showed us the ghats, temples and ashrams like Bindu Madhav temple, Trilingaswamy ashram, Kashi Vishwanath temple, Kashi Visalakshi temple, Goddess Annapoorna temple, Ganga aarti at Dasheshwamedh ghat. The boatman stopped in Dashashwamedh ghat to give a lecture in his Banarasi English about the stories of the various ghats and the mythological stories associated with some of the ghats, so its easy to miss out on the finer details, but this is some of it.

Ride through the Varanasi Ghats

Prayag ghat- a replica of the pilgrim place known in ancient times as Prayag, now called Allahabad.

 Munshi Ghat- named in the memory of Sridhar Narayan Munshi, the finance minister of Nagpur.

Manikarnika Ghat- used for cremating the dead

 Lalita Ghat- a replica of the famous Pasupatisvara (Pashupatinath) at Kathmandu.

At dawn, crowds increased with people thronging the place on the ghats and the boats for the most awaiting Ganga pooja to be commenced at 7:00 pm. After having got to see all the ghats, the boatman halted by the banks for us to watch the eagerly awaiting spectacle. Little lamps floating in the waters in small bowl made of dried leaves. It’s a belief that if one wishes in heart, and leave the lighted lamps in the waters, they come true.… excuse me… not my cup of tea. But left one of it just to see it floating and dashing against the boat but yet making its way with the flow.  The ringing of bells, the singing of hyms in praise of Goddess Parvati and Ganga the pooja filled the ambience with devotion in the millions of hearts present there. Glittering lights, the mantras of pujaris clad in orange clothes, the smoke from dhoop sticks vaporizing into the air was a spectacular treat to the eyes. Watch out ……….

  

By now, my mind set has changed to accept the chaos as the spirituality of the city gets into me finding myself to become a Banaras resident... thankfully partially. 

 Day three planned for sitting on the banks with a samosa and enjoy my chai, with a magnificent view of the Ganges. One can have a choice of sitting on a busy ghat like Dasashwamedh to see life and death go by. Or else, you can sit in solitude in a not so popular ghat like Assi or Shivala, writing a poem or sketching scenes. I selected the quiet steps on the ghat of Ma Anadamayi ashram in Shivala. I watch the swift flowing Mother Ganges with its small appearing and disappearing whirl polls. Some clothing, flowers, even dead cattle float by. One bundle of clothes with something heavy inside gets stuck beside the halted old wooden boats. At the break of dusk, a group of idlers on the steps of the ghats are seen playing seriously some game with checks drawn in the ground, oblivious of the great river next to them. They are part of Ganges and Ganges is a part of them. They co-exist without even noticing each other. Life is taken as it is of now, without a care for the next moment. Life and Death becoming meaningless! Mother Ganges washes away all sufferings/sins of the world and purifies all souls! 

My next visit was to Sarnath, 20 kms from Banaras, where Lord Buddha gave his first sermon. It is serene, peaceful place with good vibrations of the great Master. There is a Japanese temple and a museum. In a couple of days, I got used to the city as I visited the missed out sights such as Durga temple, Hanuman temple, Banaras Hindu University (BHU), Birla Mandir etc. 

The more interesting part of this short visit was the hand-churned lassi. Situated in a narrow lanes, the lassi wallas have the shop right below his old-style houses. They  served lassi in small earthern pots, used only once, and it was delicious. Also had chai and snacks in roadside stalls. Good enough! 

Trip to Benaras wouldn’t be complete if you haven’t shopped the famous Benaras silk sarees. I got 7 sarees out of which 3 to be gifted to my s-i-l’s.

Some of the interesting things as told by locals about the place is:

 1. Cows and bulls do not attack people.
2. House lizard does not make noise.
3. Brahminy kites (Garuda) do not fly over the city.
4. Flowers of the city do not have fragrance.
5. Burning bodies do not emanate bad odour. 

  They also say that people who visit Kashi never come back. It simply means that once you visit Kashi, you are changed forever. You are not the same after the visit ...carrying a doubt...mmmm . Banaras is a nice place to photograph, with its diverse and vibrant landscape and culture. From ancient temples, saints and ghats, to Sarnath (where Lord Buddha gave his first sermon) and an excavation site from the days of the Mughal Emperor Ashoka, to its lively street life, Banaras has it all for you to capture through your lens and your soul.

  

 Jai Kaashi Vishwanathji ki !!!